Building Dreams - A Project in Weight Lifting

 Part II of my adventure in the SELP program

When I started the Landmark Self Expression and Leadership Program (SELP), our program leader warned us not to take the course if we were unwilling to feel uncomfortable. I can handle that, I said to myself. How uncomfortable can things get? I soon discovered the answer was VERY. Since I have started this program, I feel like I have been on an emotional roller coaster.


In my last post I shared my possibilities of being courageous and fulfilled. I recently added on the possibility of inspirational leadership. Declaring these possibilities, starting the course and picking a project have all been extremely empowering and exciting.

The project I picked was to raise money to build a community home for three to five for single mothers and their children in Malawi, Africa. Building a community home will create the possibility of safety, empowerment and community for single mother families. To raise money for the community home, I will be holding an evening fundraiser at the end of July. The fundraiser will consist of music, food, drinks, a silent auction and a raffle. I named my project Building Dreams.


Having decided on my project, I began sharing it with a lot of family and friends. The positive responses I received were amazing. People were eager to provide suggestions of organizations to reach out to, contacts they have and pitch in ideas. The support was so moving, it got me thinking about how much people can accomplish when they put their minds together for an inspiring cause.
 
While all this creating and sharing got me pumped, I soon started feeling scared. Many people asked me "How are you going to accomplish this?" I had to admit, I had no knowledge of fundraising, let alone building, let alone building in Malawi or where to find the candidates for the home. My mind went into doubt mode. What if i fail? Why did I have to go and pick a project so big?

I knew if I was going to accomplish this, it was essential I find an established organization to partner with me. I started researching organizations that either build or help single mother families in Africa. I was exceedingly impressed by all the wonderful things charities are doing in Africa. While I felt intimidated to reach out, I started emailing and calling these organizations. I was so nervous the first time I connected with someone over the phone, I had to laugh at myself. Why is this so scary? I wondered. I am reaching out to help others! Still, I had to delete and rerecord a few ridiculous sounding voice mails.

I also quickly realized that I could not accomplish the fundraiser alone - it is so much bigger than me. To make it happen, I needed the assistance of my friends. But even more intimidating than reaching out to organizations, was the thought of asking my friends for help. If they say no to helping, they are rejecting me, right? Wrong, but it can feel that way when I am asking people I care about and admire to take an interest in something that is important to me.

With no organization getting back to me and no friends assisting, I felt so anxious I actually thought about quitting the program. Two things held me back. Firstly, I had told so many people about the project and I did not want to be seen as a quitter. Secondly, I knew I would never forgive myself, because under all the fear, I know I can accomplish the project.

I spoke with my SELP coach about my hesitation to reach out to my friends and we ran through a mock conversation where I asked a friend to get involved. My coach told me that my asking is like flexing a muscle that I do not typically use. It may feel uncomfortable first, but it will get easier over time.

I was pretty anxious the first few times I asked friends to get involved. Not everyone said yes. But then again, not everyone said no. In fact, I was blown away at how many of my friends have offered to provide assistance in some way or another. My project team was growing steadily. And through the exercise of asking people for something, I learned how to disconnect their response from me emotionally reacting to it.

And then at the end of last week, fantastic news came - Habitat for Humanity Malawi agreed to partner on this project! While the organization does not build community homes, it agreed to build separate homes for single mothers in the same village. This will help keep with the project's aim of providing single mothers with a feeling of community. As one of Habitat's initiatives is aimed at helping vulnerable women in their own communities, the organization will find a village with several single mother families and build there.  Therefore, this project will not only be changing the lives of these families, but also helping to transform a village!

I was so ecstatic to receive the news, I could barely sleep that night. I felt like I was on Cloud 9. This project is really happening! I feel confident that through donations, corporate sponsorships, fundraiser ticket sales and auction items, enough money for three homes can be raised. Now, I just need to keep my confidence up and keep on pushing forward until this goal is met. And, being honest, this is a constant struggle. I have not been one to take the leadership role in past activities or even in my social life. I am much more of a go-with-the-flow, tell-me-where-to-be-and-I'll-be-there type of person. I am eager to try out this new side of me, but still have moments of nervousness. The muscle still needs work, as my coach would say. So, prepared for some soreness, off I go to lift some weights and put on muscle.