Part II of my adventure in the SELP program
When I started the Landmark Self Expression and Leadership Program (SELP), our program leader warned us not to take the course if we were unwilling to feel uncomfortable. I can handle that, I said to myself. How uncomfortable can things get? I soon discovered the answer was VERY. Since I have started this program, I feel like I have been on an emotional roller coaster.
In my last post I shared my possibilities of being courageous and fulfilled. I recently added on the possibility of inspirational leadership. Declaring these possibilities, starting the course and picking a project have all been extremely empowering and exciting.
The project I picked was to raise money to build a community home for three to five for single mothers and their children in Malawi, Africa. Building a community home will create the possibility of safety, empowerment and community
for single mother families. To raise money for the community home, I will be holding an evening fundraiser at the end of July. The fundraiser will consist of music, food, drinks, a silent auction and a raffle. I named my project Building Dreams.
Having decided on my project, I began sharing it with a lot of family and friends. The positive responses I received were amazing. People were eager to provide suggestions of organizations to reach out to, contacts they have and pitch in ideas. The support was so moving, it got me thinking about how much people can accomplish when they put their minds together for an inspiring cause.
While all this creating and sharing got me pumped, I soon started feeling scared. Many people asked me "How are you going to accomplish this?" I had to admit, I had no knowledge of fundraising, let alone building, let alone building in Malawi or where to find the candidates for the home. My mind went into doubt mode. What if i fail? Why did I have to go and pick a project so big?
I knew if I was going to accomplish this, it was essential I find an established organization to partner with me. I started researching organizations that either build or help single mother families in Africa. I was exceedingly impressed by all the wonderful things charities are doing in Africa. While I felt intimidated to reach out, I started emailing and calling these organizations. I was so nervous the first time I connected with someone over the phone, I had to laugh at myself. Why is this so scary? I wondered. I am reaching out to help others! Still, I had to delete and rerecord a few ridiculous sounding voice mails.
I also quickly realized that I could not accomplish the fundraiser alone - it is so much bigger than me. To make it happen, I needed the assistance of my friends. But even more intimidating than reaching out to organizations, was the thought of asking my friends for help. If they say no to helping, they are rejecting me, right? Wrong, but it can feel that way when I am asking people I care about and admire to take an interest in something that is important to me.
With no organization getting back to me and no friends assisting, I felt so anxious I actually thought about quitting the program. Two things held me back. Firstly, I had told so many people about the project and I did not want to be seen as a quitter. Secondly, I knew I would never forgive myself, because under all the fear, I know I can accomplish the project.
I spoke with my SELP coach about my hesitation to reach out to my friends and we ran through a mock conversation where I asked a friend to get involved. My coach told me that my asking is like flexing a muscle that I do not typically use. It may feel uncomfortable first, but it will get easier over time.
I was pretty anxious the first few times I asked friends to get involved. Not everyone said yes. But then again, not everyone said no. In fact, I was blown away at how many of my friends have offered to provide assistance in some way or another. My project team was growing steadily. And through the exercise of asking people for something, I learned how to disconnect their response from me emotionally reacting to it.
And then at the end of last week, fantastic news came - Habitat for Humanity Malawi agreed to partner on this project! While
the organization does not build community homes, it agreed to build
separate homes for single mothers in the same village. This will help
keep with the project's aim of providing single mothers with a feeling
of community. As one of Habitat's initiatives is aimed at helping
vulnerable women in their own communities, the organization will find a
village with several single mother families and build there. Therefore, this project will not only be changing the lives of these families, but also helping to transform a village!
I was so ecstatic to receive the news, I could barely sleep that night. I felt like I was on Cloud 9. This project is really happening! I feel confident that through donations, corporate sponsorships, fundraiser ticket sales and auction items, enough money for three homes can be raised. Now, I just need to keep my confidence up and keep on pushing forward until this goal is met. And, being honest, this is a constant struggle. I have not been one to take the leadership role in past activities or even in my social life. I am much more of a go-with-the-flow, tell-me-where-to-be-and-I'll-be-there type of person. I am eager to try out this new side of me, but still have moments of nervousness. The muscle still needs work, as my coach would say. So, prepared for some soreness, off I go to lift some weights and put on muscle.
Friday 24 May 2013
Sunday 5 May 2013
An Exciting New Project
I started the Landmark Self-Expression and Leadership Program (SELP) two weeks ago. SELP is the third course in the Landmark Education Curriculum for Living. Landmark Education is a company that specializes in helping people living a fulfilling and powerful life. The course allows participants to practice what they learned in the first two seminars via each participant taking on a project of their own choosing. The project is a community-based project; essentially, a project where you involve and enroll a community in your life. We have just over three months to accomplish our projects, which seems like no easy feat after listening to some of the amazing past projects completed.
I had told myself going into SELP that I was not going to do a charitable project. I was feeling a bit deflated and restless, feeling like I want a new life pursuit, but not knowing what that should be. Honestly, I was in a what's in it for me? mindset, where I was thinking I want to help myself first and foremost. "I'm already volunteering" I told a friend one evening, "and what I'm doing is enough."
The first day of our course was a 12 hour Saturday and, surprisingly, the time flew by. I got completely fired up and motivated by all the positive energy in the room and hearing what all my coursemates were looking to accomplish through their participation in the program.
We declared our possibilities and shared what we were looking to accomplish through our participation in the course. The possibilities I created for myself are being courageous and being fulfilled. What I am seeking to accomplish is discovering my life's passion and creating a business.
We were put in smaller groups, each with a coach who we would engage with weekly throughout the course. My coach asked the group what act each of us were going to give up for the duration of the course. Mine is self-doubt. Self-doubt has stopped me from taking action several times in my life (including stopping me from writing this blog) and I am determined not to let it get in the way of me contributing 100% in this course.
Lo and behold, two interesting things came to mind:
Firstly, I got inspired for a community project and it has nothing to do with me and all about helping others. My project details still need to be worked out, but it will involve helping single mother families in an impoverished area with support they need to their survival.
The inspiration for the project came in one of those aha moments, which happened to be in the middle of the night. I woke up the night after the first course date to use the bathroom and when I got back into bed, I heard a noise. For a moment I felt scared. What is this noise? Almost instantaneously, I realized I was completely safe in my bed, in my apartment and in my community. I then thought of how many women around the world are not as fortunate as me to live in an environment where safety and security are things taken for granted. In my nightly prayers, I often thank God for having been born in Canada - a place of peace, safety and opportunity where women have equal freedom of rights. I realized, because of these blessings, I have the ability to help other women who are less fortunate. And from there, my project idea developed.
I have decided to write about my experience during this course, documenting what I accomplish, how I feel and what surprises come up for me. I am so excited for what is to come :)
The second thing that came to mind, was an interesting conversation that transpired with my coach last week. I was sharing my initial project idea, but then said "oh, I haven't done enough research, I do not know where/how/if it's even feasible."
My coach told me that so many people are so concerned with getting it right that they stop themselves from moving forward. "The most important thing is to take action." Her words really hit home for me, as one of the primary reasons I stopped blogging was I was concerned about writing each blog post perfectly... I was meticulous in editing my writing, which took a lot of time and added self-imposed pressure. That, combined with my New Year's Resolution of writing four blog posts per month made the task (which was supposed to be a hobby) seem overwhelming.
All I really want to accomplish, when I look at my inspiration for the blog, is to write, share and express myself and connect with others. The perfect writing may come over time with practice, but practice requires action. So, as I promised my coach, I am putting my self doubt aside and I am giving up the need to get it right. Instead I'll just write.
I had told myself going into SELP that I was not going to do a charitable project. I was feeling a bit deflated and restless, feeling like I want a new life pursuit, but not knowing what that should be. Honestly, I was in a what's in it for me? mindset, where I was thinking I want to help myself first and foremost. "I'm already volunteering" I told a friend one evening, "and what I'm doing is enough."
The first day of our course was a 12 hour Saturday and, surprisingly, the time flew by. I got completely fired up and motivated by all the positive energy in the room and hearing what all my coursemates were looking to accomplish through their participation in the program.
We declared our possibilities and shared what we were looking to accomplish through our participation in the course. The possibilities I created for myself are being courageous and being fulfilled. What I am seeking to accomplish is discovering my life's passion and creating a business.
We were put in smaller groups, each with a coach who we would engage with weekly throughout the course. My coach asked the group what act each of us were going to give up for the duration of the course. Mine is self-doubt. Self-doubt has stopped me from taking action several times in my life (including stopping me from writing this blog) and I am determined not to let it get in the way of me contributing 100% in this course.
Lo and behold, two interesting things came to mind:
Firstly, I got inspired for a community project and it has nothing to do with me and all about helping others. My project details still need to be worked out, but it will involve helping single mother families in an impoverished area with support they need to their survival.
The inspiration for the project came in one of those aha moments, which happened to be in the middle of the night. I woke up the night after the first course date to use the bathroom and when I got back into bed, I heard a noise. For a moment I felt scared. What is this noise? Almost instantaneously, I realized I was completely safe in my bed, in my apartment and in my community. I then thought of how many women around the world are not as fortunate as me to live in an environment where safety and security are things taken for granted. In my nightly prayers, I often thank God for having been born in Canada - a place of peace, safety and opportunity where women have equal freedom of rights. I realized, because of these blessings, I have the ability to help other women who are less fortunate. And from there, my project idea developed.
I have decided to write about my experience during this course, documenting what I accomplish, how I feel and what surprises come up for me. I am so excited for what is to come :)
The second thing that came to mind, was an interesting conversation that transpired with my coach last week. I was sharing my initial project idea, but then said "oh, I haven't done enough research, I do not know where/how/if it's even feasible."
My coach told me that so many people are so concerned with getting it right that they stop themselves from moving forward. "The most important thing is to take action." Her words really hit home for me, as one of the primary reasons I stopped blogging was I was concerned about writing each blog post perfectly... I was meticulous in editing my writing, which took a lot of time and added self-imposed pressure. That, combined with my New Year's Resolution of writing four blog posts per month made the task (which was supposed to be a hobby) seem overwhelming.
All I really want to accomplish, when I look at my inspiration for the blog, is to write, share and express myself and connect with others. The perfect writing may come over time with practice, but practice requires action. So, as I promised my coach, I am putting my self doubt aside and I am giving up the need to get it right. Instead I'll just write.
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